Johann Low

火曜日, 11月 27, 2007

[tumbles]

all it took was such a small event which is totally insignificant to render me dead for the whole of yesterday and more days to come. I believe it is not even worth mentioning, i know possibly it is just another passing phase and of cos the first few days will be hard. What irks me most if what I felt, same like a recent event, I have become someone whom I always depise and have warned people about. Paranoia...and what is paranoia? from my new OS X Leopard built in dictionary (which now comes with Jpn-Eng, Eng-Jpn and many more)

Paranoia means:
a mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically elaborated into an organized system. It may be an aspect of chronic personality disorder, of drug abuse, or of a serious condition such as schizophrenia in which the person loses touch with reality.
• suspicion and mistrust of people or their actions without evidence or justification

I have no idea what made me this way. I really dunno and I really detest/abhor this feeling which is not supposed to be. Why, how and when? I really cannot fathom. A rather meaningful talk with a nice Christian sis gave me some insights. I guess the roots of the problems run deep, deep from my childhood and probably what I went through during teenage/poly and NS period. Yeah the roots are deep and widespread. Apparently my previous church did nothing much to help but only to add more fuel to the fire, thanks to some incompetent leaders.

Anyway back to myself, I guess the symptoms were already there. Just that I have been laughing it off. The random self justification of this and that, the feeling of being entirely solitude in this world, the self assurance that being alone is ok, the indulgence in buying and eating, the self imposed prison on weekends. My life revolves around my work and nothing else. Everything is so dry, so cold, so de-voided of life, meaning, feeling. Friends who seem to near yet so far. A home that seems to be there and not. Everything is gray, flat, tasteless, odourless, colorless. Yeah total solitude. I wonder if med can help me on this.

Anyone felt this way too?

elow at 11:29 午後 | (0) comments

日曜日, 11月 25, 2007

[tour guide day 1]

Still have to report to office zzz anyway, schedule changed as it is : Botanical Gardens > Sentosa > Vivocity.

Botanical Gardens is quite nice actually, peaceful and quiet. Oh the weather was kinda good tho, cloudy and not hot. Orchid Garden entry costed $5/adult, was intrigued by the sheer species of orchids there. Some were so tiny like golden specks while some are so adorable and fragile. Lady boss went back after bringing us to Botanical Gardens and then brought us to Mount Faber for a cable ride to Sentosa.

I did not choose Sentosa in the first place because I am not too familiar with that place haha and it is not exactly that small that u can walk to places quickly. Anyway the cable car ride was thrilling, seeing all the above and with the cool breezes blowing into the cabin. There was some major land filling work going ard Sentosa. From the outside there seemed not to be much changes to Sentosa. The most recent I went there was in 2003? for some camp's lunch thing @ Rasa Sentosa.

There is a new training center for Temasek Poly students, we happened to meet one of them who offered us her help when we were kinda lost on there to go. A Shanghainese who is here in TP to study tourism. I was surprised to see that kind of level of standard given to us, Asians. From what I know most people in the service/tourism line will only see angmohs and the rest are dog shit.

So we went to butterfly and insect park, 4D Cinema which was absolutely fun, Underwater World and Siloso Beach before going to Vivocity with aching legs and back. It is definitely not cheap to go Sentosa. For those places we went, we already paid like $100+ for tickets! Vivocity is huge ahha, went there for the first time.

After walking for awhile, we went back to office and lady boss brought us for steamboat dinner @ Taka at 7+. The food is not bad actually, good soup and i had like 2 plates of fresh oysters haha. Went back myself and lady boss and the manager went for some shopping.

Next day, china manager came to office to handle some work related issues. Went for a very nice Penarakan lunch @ Joo Chiat, went back to office and we had another hefty dinner @ Suntec's Muthu's curry. Having downed so much spices in one day, my arse was burning when I pang sai the next day haha...and I did not have dinner at home for 3 nights.

And tmr is sunday. zzz

elow at 1:33 午前 | (0) comments

火曜日, 11月 20, 2007

[better]

CW's self quote of the day: it is better to talk to urself or to God because at least God or even urself is listening.

Went through some hassle trying to book a hotel room for the deputy GM of our China factory. Wah lao eh, due to the Asean Summit, almost ALL of the hotels are fully booked EVERYWHERE. Even those chain hotels like Frangrance are full! The manager is coming today (she arrived anyway) and I was tasked to find her a hotel room yesterday, zzzz amidst the tight period of this summit, I think it is quite a miracle to find her a room which is reasonably cheap and decent.

Thanks to a friend who suggested me Hotel Windsor, I managed to get a room for the manager. It is a room which is slightly bigger costing 155+++ but managed to get a corporate rate @ 110+++ last min before check in. Anyway the room is pretty decent and big, not to mention clean. It has 1 twin bed and 1 single bed, standard Queen room haha. Even the manager was impressed and even asked if she can change to a smaller room haha. Proceeded to send my manager to her house which is 5 min drive from hotel, wahhh her house is very nicely renovated (semi-D), those type which u see in magazines or featured on TV. Envy her sons.

Off to dinner at Jumbo Seafood @ East Coast, black pepper crab, chilli crab,sambal dua tao, sambal kangkong and this veerry nice fish in some sort of sambal sauce? and mee goreng..all for 4 persons and it is not even $130 after a 10% discount with citibank card. Ok the food is good but im feeling bit thirsty now ahha.

Tmr, i will be the manager tour guide for the China manager. =|

elow at 12:03 午前 | (0) comments

月曜日, 11月 19, 2007

[Leopard and a new dvd writer]

After almost 3 weeks of waiting, my Leopard finally arrived on Sat morning. I almost missed the delivery man as he was knocking so softly! zzz. The package from Amazon, shipped to my vpostUSA address which then shipped the item to my address. I was kinda surprised at the package cos it was so small compared to Tiger. But there are nice holographic diagrams of the features in OS X front and back. Dunno am I unlucky or what, when I decided to put my installation dvd into my mac, my superdrive (dvd-writer in mac terms) could not read the dvd!! I read abt this happening to another guy in a local forum. After some probing, I realised my superdrive could not read dual layer dvds! No wonder I could not watch my Goong dvds anymore on my mac.

So I did some online research, read abt this Pioneer DVR-112 model which seemed to work great with macs and pcs alike. Went down to SLS to look for it and found it in Fuwell the 2nd branch on a higher level. It is cheap, only $52! compared my TDK dvd writer ard 3 yrs ago which costed me $199. Went back, bought hor-fun from Yishun seafood. I was stuck when I opened up my mac to self install. Thanks to not doing enough homework, I almost dismantled the wrong parts only to find out I do not need any special tools to remove the lousy Sony dvdwriter. I just need to turn the level and push out the drive! Only tools needed are some screwdrivers to remove the screws on the old drive and then placed them onto the new one..and that's it!

Anyway the new drive can read the Leopard dvd and I am not on OS X Leopard 10.5.1. I absolutely love the built in Jpn-Eng dictionary haha. Also included are FrontRow too and most of my prgrams including Photoshop CS2 works well. Only thing is Onyx does not work with Leopard.

My whole Sat is gone like that haha.Played Rachet and Clank Future..wow this game really lives up to its name! Definitely one of the most fun game I played.

elow at 12:49 午前 | (0) comments

日曜日, 11月 11, 2007

[just another week]

Besides the slightly cooler weather and occasional rain, nothing much has been happening besides work and seeing that gal on bus 63. It could be like the eye one sees everyday? I am looking forward and also not looking forward to see that gal. =/ Seeing her makes me feel alive and actually make me realise I do exist.

Anyway I think I need some serious self healing of my own self esteem. A nice sister said I need inner healing. I do wonder how wil I have any inner healing. She is right, I am not really in the best of mindset now. I do feel uber lousy about myself most of the time. for eg, whenever I saw the gal, i would think a gal like her cfm will have bf? and even she is single, her tiaojin so good (looks alone to me), given a choice she will definitely pick this other guy who sometimes board the bus (tall, super good complexion,wears a tie and looks so sophiscated, lean, prob earns 3-4k a month) Me?, quite the opposite (not tall, bad complexion (and lazy to maintain or do anything abt it), dress in short sleeve short like some low pay worker which I think I am anyway, plumb etc etc.

Amidst all the downs and grays, Jay Chow's new song 陽光宅男 in his latest album kinda perk me up hahaha. This new album is quite refreshing. His opening track, Niu Zai Hen Man is a breakaway from his usual Jay Chou's style. Some people dislike it but I like it because it is funny,witty and something different.

My Leopard is finally ready for shipping! heehar wah lao vpostusa is really slow but they are certainly very fast when I made my payment via CC for shipment, zzz..I hope to receive it this week as well as my 2 games frm HMV Japan. Hopefully, my weekends wun be so boring hahaha. Also looking forward to another seemingly good game called Assasin's Creed, but most that will be next month. For Dec, it will prob be Assasin's Creed + Wii Fit haha, hope I can lose some fats with it.

Well, for anything else, let God do His will.

elow at 11:40 午後 | (0) comments

月曜日, 11月 05, 2007

[peanuts and chinks and monkeys]

Pay peanuts and u get monkeys, how true. As in my previous posts, I was rushing thru my company's catalogue including front back design as well as the contents. Things were going ok, I engaged 2 printing companies to do the printing. When we were about to close in on the printing, boss suddenly asked me to get our Shanghai office to out source printing charges in Shanghai. Came down to that it was super darn cheap but @ a price.

The cost of the printing in Shanghai for that particular fucked up printing company was about 50% of what we will be spending here if we were to print in SG. So everything was so fucking rushed becos we are going to switch to this company in Chinkland. 2 of my colleagues would be going to chinkland, good thing is I already burnt a copy of the brochure I did, so I passed this CD to one of them and to be handed out to the Shanghai office.

As I was rushing work on Fri, the Shanghai office gal contacted me over some issues. I was getting annoyed cos I was bewildered on why they could not change certain simple things such as resizing. I did emphasised that they need to use Indesign. One uber annoying shiat was they told the format I did was too big? Huh? Too big? My document was designed on A4, standard. The fucking excuse those chink shit was 'Oh in China, our A4 is 210mm X 285mm, not the usual 210mm X 297mm". What is this? Right even if this is it, they can easily resize the whole damm thing, what is so difficult? As I am not too familar with printing, I consulted my friend and I confirmed that is no such farking shit like 210mm X 285mm 'A4'. In the end it boils down to money, was told there will be an additonal charge of RMB300 for using A4 'standard' size paper. knn smlj.

What stunts are these chinks going to pull? I 'protested' with the Shanghai office (poor gal, I was aiming at the printers) and my tone was obviously pissed, my lunch was affected and in the end, for over a few hours, the _|_ chink printers admitted that they do not have INDESIGN!!!! AND THEY USED THE LOW-RES PDF INSIDE THE CD TO PRINT!!! WAH LAH EH!!!!!!! Anyway, pay peanuts u get shit, and shit means sub standard service and work. If not for their ftp, sending the files to them will take 2.5hrs zzzzz, now there is no sample, no 3D embossed effect for the catalogues, nothing just standard printing.KNN, really fucking cheebye tulan, knnbccb.

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elow at 12:10 午前 | (0) comments