Johann Low

水曜日, 6月 21, 2006

[history repeats itself?]

this is kinda disturbing..at ard the same period as last yr, i was quite active in FP forums and its chatroom. This yr again, I am beginning to get more active again in the chatroom. Things happened again, I got to know some chatting chums. Last night we chatted on msn and even showed our pics. I can't help it but think back of the scenario last yr. It was almost the same.

Chatroom > MSN >>>> meet up >>???

Last yr i was too naive in believing some people, of which some are from the chatroom. They appeared nice and friendly yet they gossipped and talked back at u, almost everything of u. I wonder if the current chatroom chats will escalate to meetups and then same thing happen again? The backstabbing and whatever? Oh like i care.

Surprisingly enuff, i can choose to ignore alot of things these days. I can choose to let go of something, let go of some unhappiness or anything, just about anything. In other words, I can choose to just heck care abt almost anything! It is amazing!! I seem to have complete control my 'emotions' When I feel my blood boiling I can choose to ignore it (sometimes) cos i know there is no pt in doing so. But my skills are not so up to par yet la..i still feel the heat sometimes.

When someone like me who used to be able to feel the tiniest emotion over something now has managed to hone a much needed skill, that is to turn a blind eye to almost anything. To practise almost absolute ignorance or 'bochap-ness', hwhahhaha to be numb against anything. to learn not to hope for the impossible, to learn to see and appreciate dreams as dreams...to live life as contented as now and not worrying. To live life having all the time to urself, urself and urself.

Ain't that great?

elow at 12:25 午前 |

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