Well all these never actually happened when it just ended that time. So why now? I am honestly bewildered. Maybe I over-supressed myself during that initial period. Maybe little by little, it began to sip into me. The movies we watched, the places we been to, the things we talked, the bus trips we took.. What's best is the 1st movie we watched on 5th July 2002, Scooby-Doo is being shown on tv tonight. Anyway, I kept reminding myself, "I told myself, let bygones be bygones."

Sometimes I do not know what I am doing. I did things outta blue, like suddenly asking a gal on the streets for her name. That is totally crazy. Not that I am regretting but it is just not me. What happened? What happened?? What happened??? I often asked myself. A part of me (and my mum,whenever she feels inspired) tells me, 'hey go find some nice gal and settle down LAH' while a part says 'look at urself, what have u got? No part of u is suitable for any gal be it ur character or whatever etc etc etc' Anyway I am convinced the latter proves to more worthy the reason why I shld stay single for now and maybe for long.

This is not abt wallowing in self-pity. But I think doing so will be sparing myself (and others) some heartaches,headaches,anxiety and more. Simply put, I cannot be bothered or neither do I want to be bothered with 'trivals' like r/s and its 'freebies'. Why? Some may ask..Whenever I see young couples, I will ask myself, how long will they last? I have seen r/s comes and goes like that even for those which seem to be able to last 'forever'. Who can gurantee it will last? Even if u are married, this proves nothing in today's society.

True, I envy couples who are already married at ard my age. I admire them to be able to commit themselves so much (emotionally,financially,physically), I envy because they have met and found that special someone worth that commitment.

So now I distract myself with gadgets, like PSP,new phone,laptop..

Jus to share something which I really like, I even put this up on the partition at my desk during my NS days.:

This place is not my home,
I am just a passing through.
My treasures are tied up,
Somewhere beyond the blue.
The angels beckon me,
From Heaven's open doors
And I cannot feel at home,
In this world anymore.