Johann Low

月曜日, 5月 29, 2006

[despondent]

I think being despondent is a gd way of life. Things are so quiet, so peaceful just the way I like. Days are like going to work (provided nothing crops up in my head hehe =X), lunch,home,dinner,tv,internet. Besides the working part, things are kinda calm and peaceful. Nothing much to worry abt, no unpredictable moods, no pms shit, no guessing of what-is-she-thinking crap.

Walking back home for the past few days is walking on the concrete path with a bag housing 2 buns (sometimes, for my supper), my head up looking at the clear (recently) dark skies peering at the stars, wondering how far they are, there's a light which caught my eye it is not blinking like the rest.I suppose it is a planet? Anyway I have been wishing for a telescope for me to look at the stars hahaha...

Upon reaching home, it will be TV,dinner. How slack can life get right? Life is short, what matters most is to be happy,contented, free and easy. Is there a need to strive for a million dollars? Is there a need to own a bigger house? Is there a need to drive a bigger car? All these things are NOTHING, honestly to me they are. I absolutely loathe it when I get people harping their fucking goals, their aims in life whatever. So even if anyone manage to have moutain loads of money, garages of sports cars, will that make u happier? Probably u will be so uptight abt losing ur fortune. To me, I have nothing, thus I have nothing to lose, nothing to hold on to, nothing to fear of losing.

Right, so I tendered last wk.Silly me even went to the extend of thinking what valid reasons to tell my director. Well she accepted with asking a fart. So I thought, oh well maybe she expected it..then i went back to do my work.

Then I popped into her office to ask something. She asked me if I found a job, I said no..then she asked me why I tender. So this lead to a lengthy discussion behind closed doors..next day boss came back and some of doubts were somewhat cleared. Anyway my resignation letter was tored up in front of me and I was asked to reconsider.

WAH FIRST TIME WAS ASKED TO RECONSIDER MY RESIGNATION LEH...knn when i was at that tour agency, my manager din even asked. Now I know, maybe he found me a threat. I picked up everything in like 2 months.

Anyway the pangs of quitting rose again this morning when shit came. Argh..well i kinda need the income to finance myself as well as paying for the laptop..guess i will take a step at a time. A friend is asking me to join cruiseliner ahhaha..sounds good!

elow at 9:22 午後 |

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