Apparently, I am not alright today. Many things happened, obviously in my head. Here am I at home, instead of at work. I do not know if I need to see my psych soon or not but now, I can't afford to.

These few days, esp my trip in Jpn. I have been gorging myself with food. I am not sure if I am really THAT hungry or what but having a bloated stomach beats feeling empty somewhere else. Then now for the past few days, gorging myself seems to have lesser effects, now I am going rather gaga over Nana the Movie and its whatever franchise there is. I dunno what cause this, but listening to the songs n reminiscing touching scenes of the movie seem to take abit of load of whatever void there is. It is just taking off my load somewhere, somehow. For the 1st few times I listen to the song, tears fell. The lyrics seem to convey something, what 'something' this is, I cannot tell. It seems to signify something, just some silhouette deeply symbolising something or maybe someone?

So as it is, focusing myself on some fictional stuff seems to make it easier. I believe I can watch the movie countless times. The songs, the scenes...I just want to get touched. (not physically) Too bad the comic is shoujou manga and I dun really like that style of drawing.

Sometimes, I wish I could just leave everything here and go somewhere where there is lesser things for me to get bothered abt..some place like Jpn or something. I just hate to be bothered by work, work work, meeting demands, deadlines, school and other stuff. It is not like I dun have the money to go there for a 'healing' therapy ahhahaha...ok, I miss Japan. Now I am kinda glad I was alone at Narita Airport cos that's when I really felt freedom, ?