Johann Low

火曜日, 1月 31, 2006

[i can't help it but to feel so]

Have u ever felt that u are a nobody? That u are simply a speck of dust lingering on a planet. The Bible always say we all exist for a purpose. I see myself exist for nothing. Have u ever felt so void, so lifeless, so empty, so dry, so depleted,so cold and so hollow that the slightest breeze can disperse u to smithereens? Have u ever felt that NOTHING matter anymore? Honestly to me now, nothing else matters anymore. I do not know when this 'thing' begin to manifest itself in me. I dun care abt myself, I dun care and I simply dun care.

Sometimes work and the hustle and bustle of working life help to suppress this 'thing' but no matter how, its whirly tentacles still manage to seek out crevices and take root in every possible way, slowly draining whatever sanity is left. I tried to find myself in worlds of digits, lights, clockwords,wires,lcds, Moore's Law and facades and instant messaging. Yet this vaccum grows, sometimes I can feel it, sometimes I cannot. But it is definitely there.

If I tell the above to Christians, they will tell me only God can fill up this whatever emptiness. I am a Christian, I KNOW. so dun tell me what I already know. Then yet why do I feel this way?

elow at 12:22 午前 |

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