Johann Low

日曜日, 6月 13, 2004

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Oke I guess I must admit, the previous entry was a little exaggerating. Well, that scenario is undeniably a possibilty. Been out of a job since 31st May. Got a few offers for interviews but the thing is, as long the interview is related to design field, I always feel so reluctant to go as I simply hate the fact those people will not appreciate my portfolio = rejection. It's quite a blow to my morale and often set me thinking if I can make a living outta my diploma.

Another thing is I'm so lazy. I know I need to touch up my portfolio but I dun. I want to self learn 3D software but everything I meet an obstacle in the tutorials I will simply give up. Giving up is simpler than you thought. I dun deny the fact that having too much ample time on my hands can be a good thing and bad. Now my daily schedule will be waking up at 10+, surf, eat, abit of TV, nap, eat, tv, surf, slp. There will be times when I will act as if I am out of my mind;talking to myself, thinking of this thinking of that.

During one of my darkest moments during this brief break from work, I almost slipped back into depression again. Well I think it could be alot worse than what I experienced b4. Something I called it as "The Black Wave", a description by Elizabeth Wurtzel of "Prozac Nation". It felt physical,emcompassing u from all directions,swallowing u up,devouring what's ever left of u. You will fall in this bottomless pit of self devouring, endless thoughts..a whirlpool of thoughts zipping in and out of ur head, like torrents of bullets blasting above you or rather, through u leaving a empty corpse.

Any one played "Prince of Tennis" on the PS2? Its an excellent game !!!!!

elow at 2:15 午前 |

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