Johann Low

月曜日, 5月 24, 2004

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I hate fighting. Yet there is a daily struggle against something, against a long deep rooted addiction. I hate it, I really do. I wish I can put an end to it but there's no seemingly any way to do it. The only feasible solution is only to end my life ? I felt being torn in the teachings of the Bible and in the way of this world. Which is which ??? What is the Truth ? How can one proclaim the truth of the Bible as what is it ? How can one stay in the high moral standards of the Bible and not dwindle to the more humanly facade of the "real" world ? What is wrong what is right ? Who set the rights and the wrongs ? Why does things become so complicated as the way it is now ? Can things be simple, peaceful, clean and work in the way it should be ?

It is so painful trying to fit into 2 places at the same time not knowing which is the right place that you should belong too. It's psychologically very tiring to try maintain a "sane" self, a facade to the outside world of how normal you are while inside its simply in wrecks and shambles in a vacuum longing for something to fill and pick up the pieces.

Beginning to sound depressed and getting more like Prozac Nation's author Elizabeth Wurtzel.

止めろ！！！！！

elow at 12:33 午前 |

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