Johann Low

月曜日, 10月 06, 2003

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Things guys wished women will know.

1.Dont talk rubbish all the time and we will listen
2.If you are shopping for high heels,vibrators, panties,cars or hifi equipment we are interested. Otherwise go on your own.
3.When you get a headache use that time to go to your mothers. Come back when its gone. Dont tell us about it we dont care.
4.Get sick when we are out of town. Be better by the time we come back.
5.If we dont want sex - its because you dont turn us on. Try getting your sister, vibrator or best friend in the bed it will help.
6.We dont pad our pants. Dont pad your chest.
7.Who cares if you enjoy it. We can come even if you dont.
8. Oral sex. You can never give enough and we can watch TV while you do it. Oh and swallow - we do care.
9.During your time of the month ? Your breath smells . Dont expect us to kiss you. This is a good time to practice your oral sex skills.
10.In the morning we've been dreaming about your best friend or sister and we can get hard easily. In the evening we've been listening to you whine all day and we cant. Understand that. Oral sex may help. After we come let us sleep for an hour then make breakfast.
11.Cellulite is not attractive. Cover it with sexy clothes and dont get undressed in daylight.
12.Pedicure our feet.
13.Please groom up a bit.
14.You dont need to look in every window and mirror. Your butt is fat and you have no bust.
15.When you have PMS go see your mother. We dont get it, we dont understand it, and we dont care.
16.Please be ready for sex when we want it.We will be happier. If we are happier you will be happier.
17.When we are talking over the handphone with our friends or customers, don't suddenly decide after ignoring us all day that now is the time you need attention. Wait. May be a good time to practise your oral sex skills.
18.Please buy a vibrator if you cant come within a reasonable time. It gets boring down there.
19.Dont tell us what you dont like. You whine all the time. Tell us what you do like. Liking oral sex and swallowing is a good thing.
20.Don't smoke eat garlic or fart ever.
21.Dont comment on the way we live. If we didnt like it we'd change it. If you dont like it clean it up.
22.Please brush your teeth. Men are supposed to smell. Women arent.
23.Dont whine we hate it.
24.When we say that the thing is nice it means we are going to buy it. Dont whine when we do. When you say a thing is nice its dumb. Spend your own money.
25 Its not the clothes that make you look fat. Its the fat. Slim down.
26 Tell us when its your time of the month we wont remember. Oral sex is a good way to tell us.

01. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
02. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
03. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
04. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to
see if he can find the perfect present, again!
05. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
06.Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
07. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lent, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
08. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
09. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough clothes.
14. You have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.
17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
18. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your oil.
26.Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
30. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
33. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done not both.
35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.
39. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.
40. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
41. Anyone can buy condoms.

elow at 5:16 午後 |

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